"What has God been saying to you this week about Easter?"
Why a simple question brought a flood of tears
It was a seemingly simple question, asked by our ministry’s head of staff during our weekly Zoom staff meeting. “What has God been saying to you this week about Easter?”
It brought me to unexpected, overwhelming tears.
While I knew (based on the calendar) that it was Holy Week, it didn’t really click until that moment. The climax of the church year, the most important week in the life of a believer. That time of the year when we’re extra-focused on how God loved people so much that He made a way for our sins to be wiped away, once and for all. His own Son, human in every way except for sin, empowered by the Holy Spirit to advance the kingdom of God on earth, sacrificed as a more perfect lamb than any we could bring, and being raised up to life again — defeating the hold of death forever.
“What has God been saying to you this week about Easter?” I didn’t have an answer. Part of the reason was because I simply hadn’t thought about it. It’s been a crazy busy few weeks — one week ago today my family was in Florida, recovering from a 12-hour day in Hollywood Studios, eating lots of food and swimming and celebrating my mother-in-law’s birthday. It was a whirlwind of a weekend, and then we were thrust back into school and work and activities and laundry…
But as I’ve thought briefly here and there about the question the last couple of days, I’m realizing I just don’t want to sit and listen to what He has to say...
*hides*
I’m avoiding going there. Because any time I start to open myself up, I realize I’ll have to face some pain before I can embrace the joy.
“What has God been saying to you this week about Easter?” While others responded with words about new life (from flowers to guinea pigs) and the joy of family (get-togethers past and present), all I could picture was the cross and the silence.
I know “Sunday is coming!”… but I think what God wants me to focus on this year is Saturday is okay.
We haven’t posted publicly on social media, but our church knows and some extended friends and family know — our family’s last Sunday in our church will be next week, April 27, the Sunday after Easter.
Long story short, we’ve been wrestling for awhile with sensing God calling us out from there, for a variety of reasons. We don’t yet know where He is calling us to, but with Abram-like faith we believe He will show us as we go.
It’s a church where I’ve worked for the last 10 years, we’ve led worship for 20, and it’s been my husband’s church home for over 40 years. All of the metaphors apply — the turning of a page, closing of a chapter, changing of a season… and that’s hard. Really hard.
The coming weeks and months will feel like Silent Saturday to us (it already does). Severing is painful. The unknown is scary.
On this side of the cross, because we know the rest of the story, we often try to ignore the pain and fear completely and focus on the resurrection. And absolutely — what a glorious, heaven-and-earth-changing day it is! — we do need to celebrate the joy that comes after the mourning.
But taking a step back — why did Jesus stay in the grave the amount of time He did? From 3:00 in the afternoon on Friday until “early in the morning on the first day of the week”? More than a full day, but less than the four days Lazarus was dead?
We know God is outside of time, and I have no desire to get super theological here about what happened during those hours. But here’s what my heart tells me… He wants us to know Saturday is okay.
It’s okay to sit in silence.
It’s okay to mourn.
It’s okay to grieve.
It’s okay to question.
It’s okay to ask “what? why? how?”
It’s okay to say “I don’t understand.”
It’s okay to come down off the adrenaline rush before moving on.
It’s okay to pause.
Yes I believe my family’s story contains hope for the future, I believe God is moving our lives around like chess pieces to fulfill His beautiful plans, I believe He has GOOD plans for us. I really do. And I’m excited to see what He does next.
But I think this particular week I needed this reminder… don’t skip the pain. The disciples truly thought the crucifixion was the end! How did they spend their Saturday? We don’t know. But whatever they did (or didn’t do) that Sabbath day, it was okay.
“What has God been saying to you this week about Easter?” Saturday is okay.
I’m grateful for others who have posted similar sentiments this week, including:
Yup. It's been a week. This Lent has been a struggle.
I know how hard a decision this is for your family. Lifting you guys in prayer.